In the book of 3 John, the apostle wrote about a similar situation that had developed in the church to which he was writing. The apostle wrote, I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrophes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us…Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church (3 John 1:9-10, NLT). Diotrophes was a man who liked being in charge and so he refused to allow anyone to have any influence who might actually help his particular church. When other people did well or provided something of value, Diotrophes felt threatened, and so he stopped them from even showing up.
Diotrophes’ attitude, sadly, is not uncommon. Quite often we feel insecure and threatened when other people do well or provide valuable assistance. We fear becoming obsolete or dispensable. Divorced parents feel this keenly when their children begin to like their ex’s new spouse. Teachers and preachers can experience it when the person that fills in for them gets rave reviews. When we see someone else who is just as good (if not better) at that one thing that we used to do best for the PTA or the church, we can get jealous and begin to guard our territory, becoming very defensive about the duties or positions that we feel belong to us.
Discovering others who can help serve the people or organizations that we love should not threaten us. Yes, people can sometimes be petty and fickle, but even when they are, living in constant fear and insecurity will eventually exhaust you, alienate the people you are trying to serve, and backfire in your face dramatically. Rather than getting insecure, we should be glad that someone else is willing to work alongside us, that we might have someone from whom we can learn to improve ourselves, or that we have someone who can help carry the load when things get tough. But refusing to allow people to help the ones we love because we are worried about losing our prominence, position, or prestige is selfish and hurtful to the people we claim to serve. If someone else can do something better than us, it is not damaging to allow them to do it and to learn from them, it is the essence of wisdom itself. And it demonstration that those we serve are more important than our own feelings of importance.
If you find yourself worrying more about preserving your position than about giving the people you serve the best that is available, take a step back. Intentionally set aside your insecurity and self-doubt. Doing so will probably scare you to death, but you’ll be doing the right thing and that often counts for more than we know.