Getting a Wife-Mandated Mistress

Suggested Reading: Genesis 16:1-16

One of my favorite authors, Stephen Lawhead, often puts a disclaimer at the beginning of his books when the subject matter required him to consult others to make his details realistic. In this disclaimer he thanks those who have helped him with his research and then adds a note that any place the details might not add up the way they should is entirely his own fault. He gives credit for the help he had received but takes credit for the mistakes up front, not that I ever have or would have noticed any mistakes.

At the opposite end of that spectrum are Sarai and Abram. As they grew older, with Abram in his 80s and Sarai in her 70s, they still had not had any children. So Sarai convinced Abram to have a child with her servant Hagar so that she could count the servant's child as her own. Abram might have refused but the practice was fairly common at the time among couples who couldn't have children so Abram went along with it. When Hagar got pregnant she began looking at Sarai with contempt, possibly believing she could now replace her mistress (one of the common problems with this plan). So Sarai approached Abram, scolding him, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” (Genesis 16:5, NLT).  Sarai, emotional and insecure as she was, came storming in, blaming Abram that her own plan had worked. She had come up with an idea, persuaded Abram to go along with it, and then got bent out of  shape at the predictable consequences when it did work. Isn't that just like us, sometimes?

How often do we come up with a plan or take action without quite thinking it through all the way and then get angry when the natural consequences of that plan come to pass? Worse yet, how often are we unwilling or unable to accept the blame for our own actions and try to pin the blame on someone else? We forget to make an appointment but it's the repair shop's fault they can't get us in. We wait to leave until the last possible minute but it's traffic's fault that we are late. We tell a spouse to set out hamburger meat, but it's their fault they didn't know we meant chicken breasts. We talk about someone behind their back but it's their fault they're being overly sensitive.

One of the least endearing qualities in any human being is the inability to take credit for mistakes or for the consequences of our own choices. When we mess up, let's have the courage to own up to our mistakes because Sarai was right about one thing:  The Lord will show who's wrong. 

Promises Sealed With Split Carcasses

Suggested Reading: Genesis 15:1-21

I've experienced a couple of one-sided relationships in my life. You know, those relationships where only one person seems to put in all of the effort to make the relationship work. Whenever there's a phone call, it's always the same person who makes it. If you meet up to do something, it's always at the same person's place because one of you can't be bothered to go anywhere unnecessary. All of the energy and emotion appears to flow in one direction. And sometimes you know the person giving the time and energy is really the only person capable of it.

In Genesis 15, we witness a similarly one-sided relationship. God had promised Abram great blessings. Abram then complained that those blessings were worthless because he didn't have a son to inherit his wealth. So, God promised Abram that he would have a son. Then God added an additional promise, laying out the borders of what would come to be known as the Promised Land and promising Abram that he would possess it through his descendants. After all of these promises, Abram wanted an assurance they were true. Abram said, '"Lord God, how can I know that I will possess it?" God said to him, "Bring Me a three-year-old cow, a three-year-old female goat, a three-year-old ram, a turtledove, and a young pigeon"' (Genesis 15:8-9, HCSB). Abram then took these animals and split the carcasses in half, laying them out in a line.

Normally, both members of an agreement would walk through the middle of these carcasses. The idea was that they were saying, "May we turn out just like these carcasses if we break this agreement." But Abram never walked through them. God's presence appeared and moved through the slaughtered animals but Abram never did because Abram's side of the agreement didn't require anything of him. All Abram had to do was receive the blessings God was promising.

Most of the time, our relationship with God has a similar dynamic. God, in God's grace, extends to us a number of blessings: forgiveness for sins, the Holy Spirit to guide and empower us, lives that are changed and cleansed from the power of sin, a guarantee that our needs will be met. But God takes all the responsibility for these promises. Yes, we must cooperate with God, allowing God to extend these gifts to us, permitting the Holy Spirit to point out our sin and following the Spirit's directions to avoid sin, allowing God to have the control he desires in our lives. But, ultimately, all of these things result from the power of the promise of God, not because we are capable of causing these things. Our relationship with God is very one-sided.

By definition, our relationship with God must be one-sided. We do not have the power to give God anything or do anything to bless God, with one exception: we can allow God to do what God wants in our lives. We can cooperate with God and willingly receive the gifts and instructions God extends to us rather than fighting God to maintain our imaginary independence. We can allow God the chance to fulfill God's promises by opening up our lives and giving God free reign to change us in whatever ways need changing and then praise God for it.

Most one-sided relationships are unhealthy. Our relationship with God, however, works best when we acknowledge and embrace its benevolent, one-sided nature.

Four Kings and a Fearful Android

Suggested Reading: Genesis 14:1-16

In Star Trek: Generations, the android Data finally got to put in an emotion chip and experienced the full-range of human emotions that he had always wanted. Data had always been the smartest guy in any room, the strongest guy in any room, and the most ethical guy in any room, but he had always wanted to be human and experience the same emotions everybody else experienced. But the emotion chip overloaded his artificial system at just the wrong moment. While the villain of the movie was taking his best friend hostage, this incredibly powerful android who could easily have saved the day and stopped the villain was frozen by fear. When I watched the movie the night before the official release I sat there stunned. What in the world was Data afraid of? He should have been wiping the floors with the villain! Instead he was paralyzed and acted like a little baby because his fears got the best of him.

Last time, we talked about how scared Abram was of the Egyptians, going so far as to give up his wife to save his own skin. Well, after God saved Sarai from Pharaoh and Abram was banished from Egypt, he returned to the Promised Land with Sarai and his nephew Lot. Lot was captured by four kings who had come in to conquer the Land, wiping out all of their rivals in the process.  The next thing we know, Abram "assembled his 318 trained men, born in his household, and they went in pursuit as far as Dan. And he and his servants deployed against them by night, attacked them, and pursued them as far as Hobah to the north of Damascus. He brought back all of the goods and also his relative Lot, as well as the women and the other people" (Genesis 14:14-16, NLT). I read that passage, how Abram had conquered an entire alliance of kings who had wiped out all of the local kings, and how he did it with only 318 men, and I thought, If he could do that, why was he so afraid in Egypt?

Fear is one of those things that can sneak up on us. Much of the time, fear is not rational. And often fear loses its power if we can stop and think about the situation or if we simply focus on what needs to be done rather then why it scares us. Don't get me wrong, fear can be a good thing when it causes us to be cautious in circumstances where we might hurt ourselves by simply rushing in. But we must use fear as a tool, helping us to recognize situations that require a little more thought, determination, or prayer. We must never allow fear to dictate our actions.  2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, "God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment" (NLT).  Those three things - power, love and sound judgment - can transform fear from something that drives you into a tool at your disposal.

Don't allow fear to paralyze you. Use fear as an indicator of where sound judgment, love and God's power are required. Then apply them to the task.