Changing the Rules of the Game

Suggested Reading: Matthew 15:1-20

I know it is shocking, but when they were younger my children would occasionally get into fights. One of the things they sometimes fought about was the rules of whichever game that they happened to be playing. They would be playing along, having fun, until one of them decided that the rules didn't work as they were and they would attempt to change the rules of the game right then and there. Most of the time, the rule change was intended to give the one making the change an advantage over the other one, which, in turn, started a fight. "That's not how you play the game!" the other one would yell or cry, and the fight pretty much fueled itself from there.

In the New Testament, Jesus accused the Pharisees of trying to pull the same kind of rule change with the way God wants us to live. Jesus pointed out how they violated God's command to honor one's parents by devoting to the temple the money they would have used to care for their parents in their old age. That gift to the temple, in their minds, freed them from the obligation to care for their parents. Then, speaking for God the Father, Jesus quoted the book of Isaiah and said, "These people honor Me with their lips but their heart is far from me. They worship me in vain, teaching as doctrines the commands of men" (Matthew 15:8-9, HCSB).

Many times, we do the very same things the Pharisees did, and we make up our own rules that we think nullify God's commands. Jesus gave us the example of the Good Samaritan who stopped for a man on the side of the road, but we tell ourselves that we don't have to care for that person because it is more important to be "wise" and not put ourselves in dangerous positions. Jesus prayed for and encouraged unity among his followers, but we decide that we can only be united with other believers if they hold exactly the same doctrinal beliefs that we do. Through the Holy Spirit, Paul insisted that we not demand our own rights when doing so might cause other believers to falter in their faith, but we declare that anyone who is offended by our innocent actions is simply dumb and not our concern. 

Every day, as believers and as local churches, we "change the rules" for our own advantage, so that we don't have to work as hard or so that we can have the things we want, coming up with our own little traditions that give us the right to ignore God's commands.  If we were honest with ourselves, we normally know exactly when we do this because the Spirit pricks our consciences, and we do our best to pretend that nothing is wrong. Sometimes, we even pray for God to send someone else to do what we know we should be doing.  But there are two problems with making up our own rules like that: 1) many of the lost people we are trying to reach know how we are supposed to live and our contradictory behavior communicates that God isn't real to us so God doesn't need to be real to them; and 2) when we ignore God's commands and follow our own rules, we end up hurting ourselves, just like cheating in a game often helps you in the short-term but then messes you up in the next round.

What are the rules you have come up with to relieve yourself of following God's commands? When you feel the Spirit prick your conscience, what rules do you spout to yourself so you have an excuse to ignore God's voice? There is a lost and dying world that needs to see us living life as God commanded, not to mention that we end up hurting ourselves when we ignore God's commands. Let's not come up with our own rules so that we get exactly what we want. Let's not be those people who honor God with our lips but whose hearts are far from him. 

Expectations for an Adultress

Suggested Reading: John 8:1-11

Not long ago, I introduced my children to the movie Mr. Holland's Opus. One of the great things about that movie are the stories of how Mr. Holland, as he invested time and energy into his students, expected things of students who had never really had anyone expect anything from them before. One red-headed student in particular grew up in a family where all of her older siblings were high achievers but no-one ever expected anything of her. Mr. Holland kept pushing her, expecting her to achieve, and eventually she did, not only musically but also by becoming the state governor. 

Previously, we looked at how Jesus refused to play the Pharisees' game with the woman caught in the act of committing adultery, but the story didn't end there. After Jesus turned the tables on them, agreeing to stone her only if the first stone was thrown by someone who was sinless, Jesus was left alone with the woman. He asked her if anyone had condemned her and she responded that no one had. Jesus then added, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and from now on do not sin anymore" (John 8:11, HCSB). Having just saved this woman and having refused to condemn her himself, it is easy for me to hear the tone in Jesus's voice in my imagination. Jesus does not speak to her in disgust or in disappointment but in expectation. "Go and from now on do not sin anymore." With that statement Jesus gave this woman caught in adultery something no one else seemed willing to give her: expectations.

In my work with students through the years, I have learned that students tend to give you what you expect of them. There are always exceptions, but in general students behave the way you expect them to.  If you expect them to be disrespectful, they behave disrespectfully. If you expect them to behave like responsible adults, they eventually do. Expectations are a statement of belief in a person, one way or another. Jesus understood this and he gave this adulteress high expectations. Without condemning her, Jesus expected more from her.

Sometimes we are really good at expecting things from people; we just expect the wrong things. Too often, we expect people to fail. We expect people to let us down. We expect people to go on with their lives, never living up to their potential. And we normally get what we expect. What would happen if we expected more from people, without reminding them of their failures by flavoring our expectations with condemnation? How would people change if we expected more from them? Who in your life desperately needs the gift of expectations?