I WIll If They Will...

Suggested Reading: Colossians 3:15-25

As a child, there were times during the summer when my brother, sister and I were all out of school and we would be at home by ourselves while our parents were at work. Normally, mom would leave us a list of chores that had to be done by the time she got home.  Over the first couple weeks of the summer, we would get in trouble a lot for neglecting those chores. When grilled about why we weren't doing our chores, it was not uncommon to hear, "Well, they weren't doing their chores!" Somehow, especially as kids, we get the idea that we should only have to do what's right if everyone else is doing what's right.  After all, if we are the only ones following the rules, well…that's just not fair.

I think most of us, as adults,  know that we are supposed to do what's right regardless of whether someone else is doing it or not, but there are always exceptions. In fact, through the years, there are two particular passages of scripture that I often hear people excuse themselves from obeying because other people are not doing what they are supposed to do. Those passages? Colossians 3:18-25 and Ephesians 5:20-6:9, and they both basically say the same things.

"Wives respect your husbands."

"Husbands, love your wives."

"Children, obey your parents."

"Parents, don't exasperate your children."

"Slaves/servants, obey your masters and work for them like you are working for the Lord."

"Masters, treat your slaves/servants fairly and pay them what they deserve."

When there are problems in these three different relational areas, almost always, people are not abiding by these instructions. Wives excuse themselves by saying that their husbands aren't being the men they need to be and loving them like they should. Husbands excuse themselves by saying they aren't getting the respect they deserve from their wives. Children excuse themselves by saying their parents don't understand and expect too much from them. Parents excuse themselves by saying that their children just don't listen. Employees say that their bosses simply don't pay them enough and bosses say that they have to be harsh with their employees because they are just lazy and it's the only way to get anything out of them.  All the way around the circle, we all excuse ourselves from following these instructions, and it is always the other party's fault.

But these instructions were not given with the caveat that we only have to obey if everybody else is acting like they should. And, logically, if we all wait for everybody else to start acting right, no one never will. But sometimes, when we treat people like we should, we set off a chain reaction of right living. When wives respect their husbands, whether they deserve it or not, husbands often respond by demonstrating love for their wives in more palpable ways. Bosses who treat their employees with respect, even when administering necessary discipline, eventually end up receiving respect. Parents who stop exasperating their children begin finding their children more cooperative. And the reverse of these is typically true as well.`

The way we live is contagious, for good or for ill. If we treat people the way we should, people respond to that. And when they don't, we get to stand before God with a clear conscience that we have done everything we could. Let's not wait for someone else to treat us right before we do what is right. Let the chain-reaction of right living begin with us. 

Why Should I Listen to You?

Suggested Reading: Exodus 2:1-15

I love politics but I hate talking about it with other people. I am very opinionated and I don't deal well with intellectual dishonesty when I think it exists. One of my biggest pet peeves, when having a discussion with someone who has been shown to have their facts wrong, is the response,  "Well, your side acts just like my side" in an attempt to dismiss the facts by discrediting the messenger. The tendency to avoid the message by focusing on the messenger is not new or limited to politics. There is an excellent example in the book of Exodus.

In Exodus 2, Moses encounters two Israelites fighting. Moses asks the one in the wrong, "Why are you attacking your neighbor?" But instead of dealing with the issue, the one in the wrong asks, "Who are you? Are you going to kill me like you did the Egyptian the other day?" (Exodus 2:13-14, HCSB). Now, Moses had, in fact, killed an Egyptian while defending an Israelite a few days before but that is really irrelevant for the wrong-doer in this case. This man was attacking his neighbor and was called on it. His response was to discredit Moses rather than deal honestly with the situation. 

The attacker's reaction is actually very normal. Human beings, by nature,  try to avoid the truth at all costs and, if we have to belittle, discredit, or attack someone else to avoid dealing with the truth, then we will do it.  We've all done it. Our spouse shares a concern about our behavior and we lash out by listing all of their faults instead of dealing with the issue. Our friends tell us that we are acting selfishly, so we go through a litany of every time they have acted selfishly. The preacher's sermon on integrity convicts us so we think about all of the corrupt people that we know or nitpick the preacher's life to make ourselves feel better.

The only problem with this strategy is that we never deal with the issues in our lives, so we never grow. Often, we move backwards because we have justified our behavior, and we allow ourselves to slip a little farther.  We choose to live in darkness rather than walk in the light of truth, exposed and vulnerable, yet able to grow.  1 John 1:5-8 tells us that fellowship with God requires that we walk in the light. We cannot grow or conquer the sin in our lives if we refuse to face the truth. And we cannot wait for the perfect messenger before finally listening to the message. 

When we face criticism or loving concern, are we able to look past the messenger to the message? Or do we know  that the criticism is true and avoid it by discrediting its source? The next time you find yourself going through the list of everything someone has done wrong, ask yourself "Why?". Is there something you're avoiding? If so, take courage, breath a deep breath, and step into the light of truth. It will set you free.