Naps for Credit

Suggested Reading: Matthew 6:1-18

When I was a kid I used to pull this trick on my mom, though I wouldn't be surprised if she knew I was doing it. She would send me in for a nap and I would go in and lay down. I didn't want to take a nap and I didn't really want to lay down for very long. So I would lay in bed for about half an hour, maybe read a book when no one was walking past the bedroom door or do something else to keep myself occupied (and awake). When I felt enough time had passed, I would force myself to yawn several times so my eyes would get watery, and then I would rub one side of my face really hard so that it was all red and looked like I had been laying on it. Then I would get out of bed and go into the living room. Without saying a word about having gone to sleep or taking a nap, I would walk in really slowly like I was still waking up and then sit down on the couch and yawn really big. If my mom ever caught on she never said anything about it. I thought I was being really clever at the time and even then I enjoyed acting. You see, at that age, I wasn't really all that concerned about taking a nap like I was supposed to. I was only concerned with looking like I had taken a nap and with getting credit for it.

Fortunately, I grew out of that phase and I now understand that, most of the time, doing or not doing something is more important than the mere appearance of doing something (politicians could learn a thing or two there!).  But every now and then I still catch myself more concerned with looking like I'm doing something than I am concerned with really doing it. We've all been there. To avoid having to talk with someone we pretend that we're busy and hope they leave us alone, or we do just enough on a project so that it looks like we're making progress while we're really wasting time on other things. Or, we make a big show of struggling with our wallet or purse so people see us putting our tithe in the offering plate. In all of those instances, we're not really concerned about doing something, we concerned about getting credit for it.

In Matthew 6, Jesus discussed that phenomenon when it comes to our spiritual life.  He warned his listeners about being more concerned with credit for doing a thing than with the thing itself.  In 6:1, Jesus said, "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven" (NIV).  He then went on to give examples of people who give to the needy or pray, all the while drawing attention to themselves so that they look good.  In each of the examples Jesus gave, the people in question actually did the good deeds but only so they would get credit from people for doing them. These people gave to the needy but had no more concern for the needy than a carpenter for a nail; both the nail and the needy were simply tools to be used for other purposes. The person praying wasn't actually  concerned with talking to God, only with other people thinking that he was talking to God.  In each case, Jesus warned that the rewards for those good deeds had already been received in full.

How did Jesus suggest we remedy being more concerned about the appearance than with the good deed? Do the thing in secret. After all, if no one ever knows that you are doing good, it's hard to be tempted to do it for the sake of appearances. But, notice, Jesus did not say to stop doing good deeds or to stop praying. Never do that! But make sure it happens when no one can see but God.  Credit is not a bad thing and it is a good feeling to get patted on the back from time to time.  But credit, when it comes, should only be a perk that comes with getting caught doing the right thing. Credit should never be the point of doing the right thing.

Are you concerned you aren't getting all the credit you deserve? Have you been tempted to improve your image by being seen doing some good things? If you do things for credit, credit is all you will ever get. But if you do things secretly, for the sake of doing the right thing, for the sake of pleasing your Father in heaven, credit will be the least of your rewards.

Getting Those Annoying Stickers Off My Wife

Suggested Reading: Ephesians 5:15-33

I am a bibliophile. I love books. Because of my wife's restrictions on how many I am allowed to have in the house, most of the books I buy now are eBooks. But when I do buy a book, not only do I expect it to be a good read, but I want it to be in good condition. If I go to a discount book dealer, when I get home the first thing I  do is take off all of those discount stickers that they plaster all over the book and the stickers they put on the spine to let you know that it has been used before. If I have to, I get out Windex and a paper towel and get all of that sticky residue off. If I buy a DVD, I am the same way. I want the book or the movie. I don't want all of that extra junk attached to it and I don't want it to be sticky when I pick it up.  Someone asked me once why I go through all that trouble since the stickers and all that stuff don't actually affect the reading or the enjoyment of the movie. I responded with something to the effect of, "Because they are mine and I want my books and DVDs to be in the best shape possible." I don’t care if anyone else sees them, I don't get them cleaned up so that other people can enjoy the nice, neat way they sit on the shelf. I do it for me.

In Ephesians 5, Paul discusses the way husbands and wives are to interact with each other and he makes a statement that gets overlooked. In 5:25-28, Paul writes, "Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy…to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle…In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies" (HCSB).  Often we focus on the fact that Christ gave himself for the Church and that husbands ought to love their wives the same way. What we miss is why. Christ gave Himself for the church to present the church to Himself without spot or wrinkle, not for anybody else. Christ didn't do it so that he could show the church off to the world. He didn't do it so that he could gain someone else's approval. He did it so that he could present the church to Himself and husbands are commanded to love their wives the same way.

Many times, we get worked up about how our spouse looks to other people or how our relationship appears to people on the outside, when what we need to be focused on is giving everything of ourselves so that we can see our spouses as spotless and blameless. And, while I know that this statement was made specifically toward husbands, we are all commanded to love people the way that Christ loved us.  

But what does that look like?  Sometimes, it might mean offering forgiveness and taking the consequences for another person's bad behavior on ourselves, just like Jesus did for us. See, though the Spirit of God is at work in us, slowly conforming us to the image of Christ, and though we have not quite been transformed into the image of Christ yet, God loves us and treats us as though we already have been. None of us are perfect as spouses or people, but can you imagine what would happen if we treated people with the same respect and consideration that we would give a perfect person? Can you imagine how people might respond to us if we were to take their mistakes and sins onto ourselves and offer unconditional forgiveness instead?

Loving as Christ loved isn't just about being willing to give of yourself; it is about being willing to look at people like Christ looked at people, not just as what they are, but as what they can be and what God intends for them to be. Not so that they will look good for anyone else, but simply because you love them.  Are you willing to love people that way? If you're married, are you willing to love your spouse that way?