Family Movies and Depression

Suggested Reading: Psalm 42

Not long ago, I watched one of those family movies. You know, the ones where the family is struggling and the teenage daughter lashes out at her mother and screams, "I hate you!" And everybody knows she doesn't mean it. Everybody knows that she is angry and hurt and frustrated and that, even if she means it right this moment, she won't mean it tomorrow.  Fortunately, this particular movie was a little more original in the way they resolved the situation than some of the cornier movies I have seen.

While I think most of us understand this concept of feeling soemthing in the moment that we know is not true, we sometimes forget to apply that dynamic to our relationship with God. In Psalm 42 and 43 (two psalms that may have been a single psalm at some point in the past), the psalmist seems to express this dynamic of feeling something he knows is untrue. The psalmist remembers his times of joy, going to the house of God and celebrating with God's people, he remembers God's powerful acts of the past, and yet the psalmist feels like God has forgotten him. The psalmist feels as if God has abandoned him and his life is falling into ruin. The psalmist desperately wants to know that God has heard him. In the midst of this internal conflict, the psalmist writes, "Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, My Savior and my God" (Psalm 42:11 and 43:5, HCSB).

Even though his circumstances made it feel like God had abandoned and forgotten him, the psalmist knew that his feelings were not reality. In the midst of his turmoil, the psalmist chose to continue praising God and to call God, "My Savior." God had not yet saved him from his circumstances; his enemies were still pursuing him, and things had not yet worked out like he hoped that they would. He was still depressed and writhing in inner turmoil, but the psalmist made a choice to hope in God and to praise God, acknowledging that his feelings, however much they were based on the reality of his circumstances, did not define his reality. The psalmist acknowledged God's faithfulness and God's role as Savior, even when he still felt like he needed saving. The psalmist was willing to acknowledge his depression, knowing that his emotions did not have to define his existence.

There are times for all of us when we feel like the psalmist did, when we feel depressed or that God has forgotten us, when it feels like the world is falling apart and there is no hope. We are allowed to feel that way, and refusing to acknowledge those feelings is unhealthy. But allowing those feelings to overwhelm us and define our reality is also unhealthy.  Every moment of every day, including those moments when our feelings of depression and abandonment seem to overwhelm us,  we face a choice -- a choice to give in to those feelings and let them define our existence or to acknowledge that our feelings don't tell us everything we need to know -- a choice to feel sorry for ourselves and wallow in our misery or to lift our heads and acknowledge God's faithfulness, even when we don't understand what God is doing.

While it's alright to feel depressed and forgotten, we can't allow our feelings to define us. We must choose to put our emotions in perspective.  "Why am I so depressed? Why this turmoil within me? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, My Savior and my God."

A He-Man Like Depression

Suggested Reading: Job 6:1-13

When I was five, I experienced my first TV cliffhanger. He-Man had battled one of the weekly bad guys and knocked over a tower to do it. Unbeknownst to anyone, He-Man's nemesis, Skeletor, had disguised one of his evil minions (one who literally didn't have a heart) and placed him where He-Man would think the tower fell on him. When He-Man checked his heartbeat and discovered there wasn't one, he blamed himself for killing the man and fell into depression. He turned back into the ordinary Prince Adam and then chunked his magic sword into a bottomless pit so that he could never again become He-Man and abuse his power. Then the show cut to commercials. I was a devastated five year old. He-Man hadn't done anything wrong! How could he fall for the enemy's trick?! The hero can't get depressed and feel sorry for himself!

But He-Man isn't the only good man to ever get depressed. Job was also a very good man who had done nothing wrong and yet became very depressed. Job finally proclaimed in his depression, “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant my desire. I wish he would crush me. I wish he would reach out his hand and kill me. At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One. But I don’t have the strength to endure. I have nothing to live for" (Job 6:8-11, NLT).  Job did not know that God was holding him up as an example of righteousness rather than being angry with Job. All Job knew was that his life had suddenly become very difficult and very painful very quickly and he wasn't sure how he could move on.

Far more commonly than we would ever care to admit, we will encounter people who are depressed, sometimes even ourselves. A depressed person has not necessarily done anything wrong, anymore than He-Man or Job did anything wrong. Sometimes, it just means that they are missing some key details. Sometimes it means life is painful beyond their control, that life is hard and there doesn't seem to be anything to be done about it.

The next time you encounter someone who is depressed, whether it is a friend, a family member, a co-worker or yourself, cut them some slack, pray for them, bear with them, listen to them, and be patient. Even the best people can face depression.