Winning Your Fairy-Tale Husband Without Words

Suggested Reading: 1 Peter 2:11-3:7

Disney’s animated film, The Little Mermaid, is one of my favorite animated movies. Watching it when I was in junior high, you would think I’d have identified with the prince but I normally identified more with Ariel, the mermaid who was magically transformed into a human girl and had three days to get Prince Eric to fall in love with her and kiss her, all while the evil Sea Witch, Ursula, held her voice hostage. I don’t think I was ever what you would call shy, but I was very reserved when it came to approaching girls. I liked to do things for the girls I liked, showing them that I liked them before I ever said a word to them. So Ariel, who had to win the heart of the prince without the use of her voice, was easy for me to identify with. And over the course of the movie, even though Prince Eric was looking for the woman with the beautiful voice who had saved him on the beach, he ended up falling in love with Ariel simply because of the things she did, because of who she was, without her ever speaking -- or singing -- a word.

1 Peter 3:1-2 gives instructions for wives in dealing with their husbands, but they apply to all of us when it comes to trying to share the Gospel with the people around us. Peter writes, In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives (NLT).  I’ve known some women who desperately wanted their husbands to come to Christ and a couple of times, the husband got so tired of hearing the Gospel from their wives that they eventually demanded that they stop talking about it. Peter, I think, was talking to women in that kind of predicament, women who cared deeply for their husbands and who desperately wanted them to come to Christ, but whose husbands didn’t want to hear about it anymore. To those women, Peter said, “Obey your husbands. Stop talking to them about the Gospel. Show it to them instead.” Talking to people about the Gospel is much easier than living it out consistently in front of them. But even though living the Gospel out is much harder, doing so is much more effective than simply talking.

As we go through our daily routines, interacting with co-workers and family members, neighbors and classmates, there are times when talking about the Gospel simply isn’t a viable possibility. Sometimes people don’t want to hear it. Sometimes they have heard it so often they just nod along while thinking about something else. Sometimes doing our job right makes it difficult or perhaps the work place prohibits religious speech (as much or perhaps even more than is legal). In any and all of these cases, rather than getting frustrated or angry that talking about the Gospel is difficult, frowned upon, or ill-received, show the Gospel to people. Intentionally make your life a living billboard for the love of God. Love people sincerely. Serve people without expecting anything in return. Show compassion to the hurting and give mercy to those who behave badly. Live the kind of pure and reverent life that will win people over without words.

Sharing the Gospel with people isn’t just about telling them about the love of God, but about showing them the love of God. A less than stellar life can drive people away from the Gospel we share in words, but a pure and reverent life of love can draw people in and prepare their hearts to receive the Gospel when we finally do speak. When we share the Gospel, let’s win people over with our lives as well as our words.

Driving With Mr. Instant Perfection

Suggested Reading: Hebrews 5:11-6:12

Several years ago I was friends with a young man who was a relatively new Christian.  He was extremely excited about the Lord and about sharing the Gospel with people but he would still make dumb decisions from time to time. During this time, we had the opportunity to take a long road trip together. As we drove and talked, this young man shared with me his excitement about what God was doing in his life and proceeded to tell me, "It is just amazing how the Lord has just matured me. How he has perfected me to the point where I don't sin anymore!" Having been a witness to some of his less than intelligent antics and a few times when he had lost his temper, I wanted to bring up his mistakes and say, "Think again, buddy," but I found a more tactful method of reminding him of his immaturity.

My friend wasn't alone, though. All too often we begin to think much more of ourselves than we should, believing we are much more mature than we actually are, even if we are too smart to say it out loud. The author of the book of Hebrews was dealing with a similar dynamic when he wrote, "You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong" (Hebrews 5:12-14, NLT).

The author of Hebrews was reminding his audience that mature people don't just talk like they are mature but they act like it, recognizing the difference between right and wrong and showing it with their actions. When we want to evaluate how mature we are, we should take a long look at our actions. Are we willing to admit when we are wrong? Are we able to accept criticism without feeling attacked? Are we caring for the defenseless and helpless?

One of the first signs of maturity is the ability to recognize one's own immaturity. Can we judge our actions with honest consideration or do we think we have things under control? Anytime we start thinking we have arrived, that is a definite sign we have a long way yet to go.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Sister-Wife

Suggested Reading: Genesis 12:10-20

Growing up, one of my favorite books was The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. The first time I read it, as Edmund accidentally stumbled into Narnia while following his sister Lucy, and then as he encountered the White Witch who wooed him with Turkish Delights, I remember thinking, Don't trust her Edmund, she's lying to you. She spoke to him in a very sweet, reassuring way while promising him the chance to be king of Narnia with her as his queen. But you knew, reading that scene, that when he came back with his brother and sisters she would turn on him and kill them all. You just knew that her actions would not match her words.

I had a similar experience the other morning reading through the book of Genesis. In Genesis chapter 12, Abram (not yet Abraham) was taking his wife Sarai to Egypt to survive a famine. On the way there he said, "Look, you are a very beautiful woman" (Genesis 12:11, NLT). I remember thinking, I wonder if that is why she goes along with Abram's plan to call her his sister. I mean, a lot of women would want to cooperate with a man who starts off that way, especially if you are already in love with him. Abram went on to explain that Sarai was so beautiful that she put his life in danger because the Egyptians would kill him in order to have her for themselves. So, saying she was his sister was the only way to keep him alive.  But just a few verses later, Abram had given up his beautiful wife in order to keep up the charade and save his own skin.

The story reminded me that even the "best" of us can find it difficult at times to make our actions match up with our words. We talk a good game, telling people how much we care about them, promising them that we will care for them in one way or another, but we find it much harder to follow through and match up our actions with our beautiful sounding words. We say we love someone but we never actually express interest in their lives. We tell someone how important they are to us but then never make any time for them in our lives. But we also do the same thing in our relationship with God. We insist that we love God but aren't willing to spend 20 minutes in prayer. We talk about how important it is to share the Gospel with people but we never actually open our mouths when we have the chance. We argue about how it is the church's job to care for the poor rather than the government's, but then we never make plans to fulfill that purpose.

Rather than being discouraged at our own lack of consistency or using our "hypocrisy" as a reason to keep our mouths shut, let's work on making our actions match our words. Go visit that person you claim to care about. Set aside some money to provide for someone in need. Whatever your problem area in matching your actions with your words, don't back down from saying the right things; just make a plan to do the right things, too.